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Writer's pictureEileen Koval

Is your dog awful with guests? Step-by-step tips for a peaceful holiday

Updated: Nov 25

by: Eileen Koval, CDBC, CBCC-KA, CPDT-KA, MSc

 

Pet owners can be reluctant to have guests over to the home due to their dogs’ behavior.  Some dogs can be hyperactive with guests – jumping all over them, barking for long periods, and generally exhibiting rambunctious, uncontrollable behavior.  Other dogs may be uncomfortable and display aggression with guests entering the home, or when guests stand up from a chair to move about the house.  Part of this can be related to breed tendencies, but a lot of it is related to socialization and training.  The way we socialize with friends and family has changed significantly in the past 30 years, and even in just the past four years since the COVID pandemic.  Most of us rarely have people to the home, whereas 30+ years ago it was usual to have neighbors, friends and family regularly stop by throughout the week. 

For a breed that was bred for guarding behaviors, an unexpected visitor is going to set off alarm bells if that is an unusual occurrence.  In the absence of knowing what to do, they will fall back on emotional and instinctual behavior -- as well as their own independent thinking -- for how to handle these situations.  This is why deliberate training and socialization are critical.  For other dogs who are very friendly, guests to the home can be highly exciting and also an unusual occurrence.  It can induce high states of arousal that may take a long time to lower.  While those arousal levels are extremely high, they may engage in unwanted behaviors.  Again, it should be no surprise when dogs behave badly in these situations if visitors are an irregular occurrence, it feels unpredictable, and there is a lack of training on what behaviors to offer in these situations.


 

How to help this?


What they really need is regular exposure to visitors in a specific protocol to make these experiences feel routine and predictable.  They need to be taught how to greet appropriately.  It is important to teach this in a way that feels lower intensity to prevent them from going into over-arousal.  Then, we also need to teach them what to do once guests are inside the home.  It is imperative to focus not only on the behaviors we want to see but also on emotional regulation.  Too often, dogs behave badly because emotions are running too high, leading to impulsivity and instinctual behaviors emerging.

 

Tips for a more pleasant holiday with shy, skittish or overly-excited dogs (for aggressive dogs, contact Eileen for private help):

 

Step 1)

Take dogs on leash out on the driveway to see the guests arrive while from a large distance away.  Praise them for noticing the guests and give a treat every time they look at the guests (praise “Good!” and reward every time).  When they turn their head away from the guests, then give the treat.  If they will not turn away or will not take the treat, them move further away from the visitor to a distance where they are able to do these things. As they gradually become calmer, allow them to slowly get closer to the guests.  Politely ask guests to ignore your dog, do NOT pet them, and do not talk to them or engage with them during this time.  It can help dogs to feel less intensity with seeing the guests if they see them outside first, instead of when guests cross the threshold into the house.

 

Step 2) 

Once your dog can follow your verbal directions while in close proximity to the guests (this may take 5-10 minutes if your dog has never done this before), proceed into the house with your pet on leash allowing the guest to walk in the door ahead of you and your dog.  Otherwise, they may turn around and bark at your guests at the entryway. Once inside, provide your dog with something enticing to lick or chew across the room from your guest while remaining on leash -or- inside a crate/pen.  Lick mats with cream cheese or peanut butter are great choices for licking! 

Some dogs want to watch what is going on in the room while engaging in a calming activity, but other highly stressed dogs may do better in a closed off room with soft music playing.  Know your dog and what may help set them up for success.

 

Step 3)

Once your dog is acclimating to the guest being inside the home (usually 5-10 minutes), you can conduct structured greetings with the guests.  Allow your leashed dog to greet the guests for 1-2 seconds of sniffing.  Then call them away and give them a treat.  Repeat this several times.  This will help them to calm down faster, giving them a chance to learn more about the guests in a low intensity manner without becoming overstimulated by remaining next to the person for too long, which frequently leads to jumping and mouthing behavior.  Politely ask guests NOT to pet them or engage with them during this time.  Do these structured greetings a few times in a row.  You dogs should be able to follow your verbal cues.  If they cannot, then they are too high arousal which could be due to stress. 


Step 4)

If they can greet appropriately, it may be a good time to take them off leash to enjoy the guests.  If not, then keep them separated behind a gate, or keep them on leash with you.  Some dogs may NEVER want petted by guests, and that is OK.  If you have a fearful dog, make sure to tell guests to ignore your dog, to not touch them, do not talk to them, and do not offer eye contact. These things may feel threatening and stressful for your dog.  Respect your dog’s emotional experience and their needs.

 

Bottom Line:

Some dogs enjoy guests but just need a little help to calm down more quickly so they are in a state of mind to think clearly and offer good behaviors.  Other dogs may be fearful of guests and may need a separate space where they feel safe.  Alternatively, with some consistent effort we can often help dogs who do not enjoy guests to feel comfortable navigating guest interactions – teaching them to go off to a private space on their own, and to show avoidance behaviors with guest interactions if they feel uncomfortable.  Many dogs eventually want friendly contact with the strangers because they feel safer and empowered by knowing desirable, effective ways to handle these situations. This only comes about through thoughtful, consistent socialization and instruction.  This training can help your dog have freedom of movement so they do not have to be separated.  But if your dog is not ready to do that, it is essential to set them up for success by meeting them where they are at this moment in time.  Give them a safe space and some calming activities.  You can also talk with your veterinarian about the possibility of fast-acting anxiety medications if your dog is that significantly stressed by visitors.

 

If you have an aggressive dog, it may be better to board your pet overnight at the veterinarian or another boarding facility so they do not encounter the guests.  This may also be the best course of action for overly anxious dogs, who may become physically ill from the stress of having visitors.  We can sometimes change aggressive dogs’ behavior and emotions around guests, as well as work out specific protocols to maintain safety. However, this does not happen overnight.  Behavior modification and emotional change are important for long term results.  Behaviors may be learned quickly, but emotions take time to change.  Ultimately, the emotional state of the animal may be what drives certain behaviors, so emotions cannot be overlooked!!   Boarding a pet overnight away from the home may be a better short-term solution in situations where there is not enough time to prepare. 

 

The important thing is to recognize what your dog needs at this moment in time – not where we wish our dogs would be.  It is often unusual for people to have large groups of guests to the home.  For some households, large groups of guests may only come to the home 1-2 times per year.  Some households do not have guests at all except a few times per year, and most of those guests are known individuals.  While that may feel frequent to the human, it likely does not to the dog.  These situations are highly emotional experiences.  There has also been less chance to teach and practice the right behaviors.  If you are serious about wanting to change your dog’s behavior toward guests, please reach out and let’s get started!  But in the meantime, try the above recommendations to help both you and your pet have a lower stress holiday experience.

 


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Eileen Koval and her dogs

Eileen Koval, CDBC, CBCC-KA, CPDT-KA, MSc (in Operations Management) is a fully certified dog behavior consultant with the International Association of Animal Behavior Consultants (IAABC). She is currently working toward a M.S. in Applied Animal Behavior and Welfare at Husson University. She believes the foundation of a good cross-species relationship is understanding the needs and normal behavior patterns of each dog as an individual, as he/she was bred to be. She enjoys helping humans and dogs communicate more effectively to create brilliant relationships with joy, purpose, and fulfillment for all species involved. She offers private consulting for serious dog behavior issues, obedience/manners, and agility training. Eileen developed a unique online course to help pet parents and trainers develop reliable snake avoidance behavior off-leash through positive reinforcement techniques. These techniques have been applied by trainers worldwide to teach dogs reliable avoidance of dangerous environmental hazards and off-leash property boundaries. She lives on a small ranch in Las Vegas, Nevada with her husband and their Nederlandse Kooikerhondjes.

 

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